Main:Computers:Do Not Eat

Why not to eat computer hardware. Perhaps this was inspired by someone taking the 'Apple' brand name too literally.

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Loose apronyms:
Perfect Apronyms OnlyAll Apronyms
100% AIRPORT (2)Alimentary Intake's Restricted, Proffer One Roxio Toast! Tony
100% APPLE (4)All Plastic Parts Lack Edibility Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% APPLE (10)Are Processor's Parts Lacking Edibility? Tony
93% APPLE COMPUTERS (2)All Plastic Parts Lack Edibility - Chewing On Metal Parts Usually Touches-off Excruciating Rectal Spasms. Tony McCoy O'Grady, as part of the growing collection of acronyms explaining why not to eat computers or computer parts - even if they're named after fruit!
Computers:Macintosh & Newton:Hardware
100% ASCIIAre Some Computer Ingredients Inedible? Tony, who doesn't think the American Standard Code for Information Interchange is edible.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% ATXAching To Xtreme Jeff Anonymous
100% BYTE (2)Beware, Your Teeth Electrocuted! Angela Brett
100% CABLE (3)Chewing A Bit Lacks Excitement Tony
100% CABLE MODEMCan Anyone Bite Large Exterior? May Obviously Damage Entrails, Ma'am. Jeff Anonymous
100% CARDCat's Anus Really Damaged Jeff Anonymous, explaining what happens if your cat thinks your sound card smells like fish.
100% CARD (2) Can Actually Rupture Duodenum Jeff Anonymous and Angela Brett
100% CDCan't Digest Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% CD BURNERCannot Digest Bits Used Recording Next Electronic Retake Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% CD-RWCan Dislocate Rectal Walls Jeff Anonymous
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% CHEF (19)Computer Hardware Enters Food! Angela Brett
100% CHIPCan Hurt Intestines, Parts Jeff Anonymous
100% CHIPSCan't Have Intel Processors Salted Angela Brett and Tony
100% COMPUTER MAGAZINECauses Overeater Mouth Problems, Upset Tummy, Excruciating Rectal Movements And Gastritis - And Zero In Nutritional Elements. Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% COMPUTER MAGAZINE (2)Cook One's Manuals, Perhaps Until Tender, Ensures Roughage. Meals Are Generally Assumed Zero In Nutritional Effects Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% COOK (2)Cuisine Out Of Kilobytes! Angela Brett
100% CORDClogs Oesophagus, Really Dry Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% DELLDon't Eat Live Leads Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% DISCDoes Injure Someone's Colon Jeff Anonymous
100% DISKDigestus Interruptus - Slender Kilojoules. Steve Keate and Angela Brett (see DONGLE (3))
100% DONGLE (3)Devoid Of Nutrition, Gives Little Energy Steve Keate, who is thinking of creating a series of acronyms explaining why not to eat computer accessories.
100% DONGLE (4)Devoid Of Nutriments - Generally Lacks Edibility Tony
100% DVDDidn't Vomit -- Died! Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% EMOTICONEverybody Munching One Turns Irreversibly Cute, Often Nauseating Patricia Rix
83% ENTEREnter Now, Then Exit (at) Rear Dundee
100% HARD DRIVEHardly A Readily Digestible Diet... Rarely Is Vitamin Enriched. Angela Brett
100% HARDWAREHave A Real Dinner Without Any Raw Electronics Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% HEWLETT-PACKARD (2)Hey! - Everyone Who Likes Eating These Things - Parts Are Considered Kosher And Really Delicious Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% HUBHurts Ur Body Jeff Anonymous
100% IBOOK (8)It Blocks One's Oesophagus, Killing. Angela Brett and Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% IMAC (9)It Might Also Choke Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% I/O PORTInternal Organs Panicking Over Recycled Trash Dundee
100% IPOD (7)I'd Put One's Diapason Angela Brett, who assumes that eating an iPod would cause intestinal problems. (I have never heard the word diapason spoken, I hope it sounds similar enough to 'diapers on' to make this work.)
100% IPOD PHOTOIn Pictures Or Diapason, Person Has Obviously Taken Overdose Angela Brett
100% IPOD SHUFFLEIt Pains Our Digestive Systems Horribly. Unhealthy For Feeder's 'Low End' Angela Brett, on noticing that Apple's page on the new low-end iPod, the iPod Shuffle, bears the recommendation, 'Do not eat iPod shuffle.'
100% IPOD SHUFFLE (2)I Put One Down 'Sophagus & Hawked Up Foul & Foetid Liquid Emetically Tony (see IPOD SHUFFLE)
100% KEYBOARD (2)Keys Enter Your Bowel Only After Ruining Duodenum. Angela Brett and Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% KEYBOARD (3)Keep Eating Your Breakfast - Of ASCII-Related Dishes Tony
80% KEYS (2)Keep External [to] Your Stomach! Angela Brett
100% LARDWARELeft Alone, Rebelling Dieters Will Absorb Recyclable Electronics. Angela Brett, thinking that if computer parts really were edible, they might be called lardware.
100% MACADDICTMagazines Are Considered A Dainty Delicacy, If Chewed Thoughtfully Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% MANUALSMeals Are Not Usually A Literary Stew Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% MEMORY (2)Much Eaten - Makes One Retch Yuckily. Tony (Applications are often described as 'eating' memory)
100% MICMassive Intestinal Cramps Jeff Anonymous
100% MODEM (2)Much Of Diet's Evidently Malnourishing Tony
88% MONITORMen Omit Nutrients Inducing Tremour Over (at) Rectum Dundee
100% MOTHERBOARDMother Of Too-Hard Eating! Ridiculously Broad - Oesophagus Actually Ruptures Dangerously! Angela Brett
100% MOTHERBOARD (2)Make One's Teeth Hurt Eating Respected Bits Of Apple's R & D Tony McCoy O'Grady and Angela Brett
100% MOTHERBOARD (3)Makes One's Teeth Hurt, Eventually Removing Broken Ones, And Requiring Dentist. Steve Keate (using Angela's MOTH)
100% MOUSEMunch Onions Until Something Emits Dundee
100% NICNasty Internal Cuts Jeff Anonymous, explaining why not to eat a Network Interface Card
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% ON/OFF SWITCHOwners Need Occasional Forewarning For Shunning What Isn't To Cure Hunger. Tony McCoy O'Grady
0% OTHER END UP*Potential Users - Do Not Eat! Rough Edges Hurt The Oesophagus Tony McCoy O'Grady, making an honest expansion out of the 'Do Not Eat' subcategory of 'Computers'.
100% PRINTERPitiful Rectum Injured. Never Try Epson Rolls! Jeff Anonymous
100% RAMRudely Affects Middle Jeff Anonymous, explaining that eating random access memory may cause stomach cramps.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% SCREENSomewhat Coarse, Rarely Eaten. Explains Nausea. Steve Keate (see DONGLE (3))
100% SILICON CHIPSuggest It's Low In Calories? Objection - Not Considered High In Polyunsaturates! Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% SOFTWARE (2)Shatters One's Front Teeth With A Rare Ease Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% SPEAKERSSome People Eat Audio Kit, Ending Really Sick Angela Brett
100% THIS END UPTake Heed! If Swallowed Ensure Non-Digestion - Upchuck Promptly Tony McCoy O'Grady, to go with OTHER END UP*
100% UPSUgh, Pierced Stomach. Jeff Anonymous (UPS=Uninterruptable Power Supply)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% VCDVeins, Capillaries Damaged. Jeff Anonymous
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WACOM TABLETWoeful Artist Consumed Overly Metallic Tool And Burst Lardful Extreme 'Tomach. Jeff Anonymous
100% WEBCAMWoefully Explodes Bowels... 'Cause Actually Metal. Jeff Anonymous
100% WIRELESS (3)Weight Is Restricted Easily, Light-Eating's So Simple Angela Brett (many people eat light in order to keep their weight down, but eating wireless transmissions is taking that a bit too literally)