Protocols

[Jeff Anonymous]

SSH

Superb System Handler

[Angela]

Here are some not very good ones while I watch the 'minutes remaining' counter on the Windows copy dialogue steadily increase.

SSH
Silent! Someone'll Hear!

(that's Ssh, short for shush or sshhh!)

SSH

Sneakily Shaking Hands

(I don't know a whole lot about ssh except how to use it, but I guess there's some kind of handshake involved, and it's secure/sneaky)

[His Excellency, The]

PROTOCOLS

Procedures Rigidly Observed To Obviate Crassness Or Looking Stupid

[Angela]

Server Mauled The Postie?

Thinking especially of an SMTP (Simple Mail Transfer Protocol) server running Yellow Dog Linux, since SMTP is sort of like a postman, and posties often get mauled by dogs.

Send Messages To People

[Tony]

HTTP
Here's That Titled Page

People seem to think that "www.co.nz" is the 'name' of a page, rather than the 'address'.

TCP/IP
To Connect Properly, Install Properly

POP
Porn's Offered Plentifully
(I get more junk mail than stuff I want to read)

[Angela]

TCP/IP
To Connect Properly, Install Properly

Great advice!

POP
Porn's Offered Plentifully
(I get more junk mail than stuff I want to read)

On a similar vein... much of the spam I receive promises to Prolong One's Penis. Which is why I found this letter to New Scientist amusing.

More spam, please
 
New Scientist vol 178 issue 2395 - 17 May 2003, page 25
 
 
New Scientist readers are concerned about their email boxes being bombarded with spam, and the need for better filters (3 May, p 24). However, they seem to have overlooked the benefits to be gained from all these spam messages. For instance, I have been accepting all offers made to me by email since the beginning of this year, and my penis is now 43 metres long.
 

Rod Paris
Kidlington, Oxfordshire, UK

[Jeff]

TELNET

The Easy Lane - Not Even Tricky

(Reflecting on the lack in Telnet of the encryption found in ssh)

[Angela]

TELNET
To Email, Learn Numbered, Esoteric Tetrads

I occasionally check my email using a telnet client, and the necessary POP commands mostly have four letters and a number after them. (I suppose 'To Email' more implies sending mail, but SMTP commands aren't numbered)

[Angela]

HTTP: How They Transfer Pages