Acronyms Predominantly Result in Obfuscation... 'Nsure Yours Mean Something
Subcategories:
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| AVALON (2) | Another Venture, Another Loss - Or Not? |
Sean Lamb (Avalon is Microsoft's code name for the graphics API in Longhorn, but will it succeed?) Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| AVALON (3) | Advanced Video Api Leads Off .Net |
Sean Lamb (Avalon is Microsoft's code name for the graphics API in LONGHORN) Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| BILL GATES (2) | Big Idiot Living Like God. A Toupee Exceedingly Sloppy. |
Mysterious Shadow Names:Famous people |
| BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH | Boom! Large, Useless Error Speaks Cryptic, Random Explanation. Evil Nerd Organization Fiendishly Devised Explosion At Technical Hell. |
Sporkmaster, who has Windows XP, doesn't have this curse, but speaks on behalf of the less fortunate. |
| CAIRO | Can Another Incarnation Recruit Others? |
Sean Lamb (Cairo was Microsoft's code name for Windows NT 4.0, which was supposed to get everyone off the Win9x kernel series) |
| FLAWS | Faulty - Like A Windoze System |
Angela Brett Assorted Nouns |
| GATANISM (2) | Gleaning Apple's Trade, And Nerdishly Idolising Satanic Master |
Angela Brett |
| GPF | Greatly Pooched Files |
Sean Lamb, referring to the results of a General Protection Fault. Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| INDIGO | It Never Did Integrate Global Objects |
Sean Lamb (Indigo is Microsoft's code name for the .NET communication technologies) Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| KORGO | Keyboard Output Recorder Generates Opening |
Sean Lamb (Korgo is the name of a new worm that exploits a hole in Windows security and installs a keylogger, sending the keystrokes to a remote, malicious computer) |
| LONGHORN | Late Or Not, Gates Holds Out. Releases Nothing |
Sean Lamb (the next version of Microsoft Windows, codenamed Longhorn, has now been delayed until 2006). Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| LONGHORN (2) | Long Overdue... Nobody's Getting Horny Over Releasing Nothing |
Angela Brett, who thinks that LONGHORN is a misnomer. Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| MCP | Mastered Crappy Programs |
Angela Brett (MCP usually stands for Microsoft Certified Professional) Re-expansions of existing acronyms Education:Qualifications |
| MCT (2) | Must Continue Training |
Sean Lamb (MCT really stands for Microsoft Certified Trainer) Re-expansions of existing acronyms Education:Qualifications |
| MEMPHIS | Maybe Every Microsoft Programmer Hates Information Services |
Sean Lamb (Memphis was the code name Microsoft used for Windows 98) Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| MICROSOFT (3) | Mainly Into Customer Rip-Off... Software Often Faulty Too. |
Angela Brett |
| MICROSOFT (4) | Major In Creating Ridiculously Over-Sized Offal. Finance Topmost. |
Angela Brett |
| MICROSOFT (5) | Motto Is, 'Create Revenue!' Operating System Often Fails Terribly |
Angela Brett |
| MICROSOFT (6) | Money Is Chief Resource... Our Software's Only For Trading. |
Angela Brett |
| MICROSOFT (7) | Macintosh Is Continually Rising Over Such Old-Fashioned Thinking |
Angela Brett |
| MICROSOFT (8) | Media Imbeciles Continually Rabbit On, Sold On Failed Technology. |
Steve Keate |
| MICROSOFT (9) | Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers |
Henk |
| MICROSOFT (10) | Managers In Companies Rile Office Staff, Obstinately Forcing Technology. |
Angela Brett - I've heard many stories of managers who've blindly bought Microsoft products despite all the people who'd actually be using them recommending other software. |
| MICROSOFT SOFTWARE | Many Imminent Crashes... Recommend Often Saving One's Files To Safeguard Oneself From Time Wasting And Repeated Entry. |
Angela Brett |
| MONOPOLIST | Microsoft Owns Ninety-Odd Percent Of Labels In Software Trade. |
Angela Brett, who hopes that figure isn't true. |
| NTFS | Not Trustworthy, Format Soon! |
Kuroneko, discussing the correct expansion of NTFS, which usually stands for New Technology File System. Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| NTFS (2) | Never The File Saved |
Chaironeko, discussing the correct expansion of NTFS, which usually stands for New Technology File System. Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC | Plastic Crap |
Tony McCoy O'Grady Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC (2) | Pathetic Creation |
Tony McCoy O'Grady Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC (3) | Passable Calculators |
Tony McCoy O'Grady Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC (4) | Poor Compromises |
Tony McCoy O'Grady Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC (5) | Piss Can |
Dustan Dowsing Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC (6) | Please Crush! |
Steve Keate Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PC (7) | Persistently Crashes |
Angela Brett Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| PCS FOR EVER | Pathetic Computers Sometimes Fail Over Rotten Entrails, Viruses Enter Readily |
Tony McCoy O'Grady |
| PC USER | Perfect Consumer - Uses Some Expensive Rubbish |
Steve Keate |
| PUTER | Pathetic Useless Tangled Electronic Rubbish! |
Tony McCoy O'Grady |
| RAPIER | Redmond Application Platform Is Engineered Roughly |
Sean Lamb (Rapier is Microsoft's code name for Windows CE 3.0 for Pocket PC version 2) Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| RUGRAT | Ruffians Use Gadgets, Release A Trojan |
Sean Lamb (Rugrat is the name of the first 64-bit Windows virus discovered 5/27/04) |
| RUGRAT (2) | Reprobate User Group Readily Attacks Technology |
Sean Lamb (Rugrat is the name of the first 64-bit Windows virus discovered 5/27/04) |
| RUGRAT (3) | Releasing Untold Gnomes, Rascal Assaults Terminals |
Sean Lamb (Rugrat is the name of the first 64-bit Windows virus discovered 5/27/04) |
| USUAL WAY TO DO THINGS | Unvaried Style Undoubtably Averts Laughter. Why Aren't You Trying Out Different Organisational Tactics? Have Innovative & New Goals, Steve! |
Angela Brett... referring, of course, not to Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, or Commissioner Steve, but the Steve whatsisname who is the CEO of Microsloth. Assorted Phrases |
| VFAT | Verily, Files Are Truncated |
Sean Lamb (VFAT = Virtual File Allocation Table; the filesystem type that Windows 98 uses) Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| WHISTLER | "Windows Has Inconsistencies" Said The Laboratory Engineer Relentlessly |
Sean Lamb (Whistler was the internal code name used by Microsoft for Windows XP) Names:Code Names:Microsoft |
| WINDOWS | Will I Never Discover Original, Wondrous Software? |
Tony McCoy O'Grady |
| WINDOWS (2) | Work Is Near Disastrous, Oh Wretched System! |
Tony McCoy O'Grady |
| WINDOWS (3) | World Is Not Dominated - Others Will Survive |
Angela Brett |
| WINDOWS (5) | What Idiotic Nerd Developed Our Wierd System? |
Helen Livesey |
| WINDOWS (6) | What If Now Dominant OS Won't Survive? |
Angela Brett |
| WINDOWS (8) | 'Working', Indeed... Next Desire's Operating Well! Someday... |
Angela Brett, in response to WINDOWS (7) |
| WINDOWS (9) | When It Never Draws One With Style! |
Angela Brett, because it's sort of odd that Windows should be called that when it's actually not very good at drawing windows (it visibly draws them bit by bit in no particular order) |
| WINDOWS (10) | Will Install Needless Data On Whole System |
delt |
| WINDOWS (15) | Whistler's In No Danger Of Whistling Speed |
Angela Brett ('Whistler' is the code-name for Windows XP) |
| WINDOWS DEVELOPER | Well, It's Not DOS; One Windowing System Demands Engineers, Very Easily Learnable, Only Problem: En Redmond! |
Gavin Lambert People & Relationships:The Workforce:Occupations |
| WINDOWS NT | Well, It Nearly Does One's Will (Suicide Note & Testament!) |
Angela Brett |
| WINDOWS XP | When It's Not Dawdling Or Wasting Space, Xpect Problems |
Angela Brett, who has to use Windows XP at work, so the criticism comes from experience. |
| WINDOWS XP (2) | When It's Not Doing Over Whole System, Xpect Procrastination |
Angela Brett (see WINDOWS XP... if it's not one, it's the other!) |
| WINDOWS XP (3) | Widget Inconsistencies Now Doubly Obvious, Windowing System Xtremely Poor |
Angela Brett (I've found there are at least four different styles of progress bars, six different styles of menus - even on the latest Microsoft software - four different styles of scrollbars and two of each kind of button. 'Windowing System Extremely Poor' refers to the fact that it draws parts of windows before other parts so that for a second or so while it finishes drawing a window there might be just an outline, or a button, or some random assortment of rectangles from the middle of a window visible. I presume this behaviour is supposed to show that some progress is being made in the drawing of a window, as an alternative to there being a wait before the window emerges fully formed. However, drawing the windows bit by bit only serves to emphasise how slowly it does things. This is on a 1.6GHz P4, in case any gatanists out there want to defend the lack of performance by suggesting the hardware is slow.) |
| WINFS | Well, It's Not Fail Safe |
Sean Lamb (WinFS is yet another Microsoft acronym [a Micronym?] for WINdows Future Storage, which was originally planned to be included in the upcoming Longhorn release) Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| WIX | Will It Xtinguish? |
Sean Lamb (WiX really means Windows Installer Xml; Microsoft's latest attempt to "embrace and extend" XML) Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| WMV | Watch My Video |
WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| WMV (2) | Will Monopolize Videos |
WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| WMV (3) | Windows Mangles Videos |
WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| WMV (4) | Worst Movie Viewer |
WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video Re-expansions of existing acronyms |
| TWITCH | There's Windoze In This Computer... Help! |
Angela Brett |