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Main:Computers:Windows

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Loose apronyms:
Perfect Apronyms OnlyAll Apronyms
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purity
100% AVALON (2)Another Venture, Another Loss - Or Not? Sean Lamb (Avalon is Microsoft's code name for the graphics API in Longhorn, but will it succeed?)
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
100% AVALON (3)Advanced Video Api Leads Off .Net Sean Lamb (Avalon is Microsoft's code name for the graphics API in LONGHORN)
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
90% BILL GATESBillionaire Is Learning Little - Greatly Advantageous To Escape (his) System. Angela Brett
Names:Famous people
100% BILL GATES (2)Big Idiot Living Like God. A Toupee Exceedingly Sloppy. Mysterious Shadow
Names:Famous people
90% BILL GATES (3)Became Insanely Lucrative Lunatic, Gains Assloads of Tokens Exporting Sh*tware delt (thought of it this morning)
Names:Famous people
100% BLUE SCREEN OF DEATHBoom! Large, Useless Error Speaks Cryptic, Random Explanation. Evil Nerd Organization Fiendishly Devised Explosion At Technical Hell. Sporkmaster, who has Windows XP, doesn't have this curse, but speaks on behalf of the less fortunate.
100% CAIROCan Another Incarnation Recruit Others? Sean Lamb (Cairo was Microsoft's code name for Windows NT 4.0, which was supposed to get everyone off the Win9x kernel series)
97% DON'T TEASE ME ABOUT USING WINDOWSDole's Obviously Not The Top Earner... And Some Extra Money's Excellent, Although Being On Unfriendly Technology Undeniably Stinks. I'm Not Getting on With It - No Desirability Of Writing Source. Angela Brett, who works as a Windows developer but is a Mac developer at heart.
93% DON'T USE WINDOZEDamnit, Only Nincompoops Try Using Such Extremely Wasteful Interface Nefariously Doled Out by Zillionaire Entrepreneur. Angela Brett
100% FLAWSFaulty - Like A Windoze System Angela Brett
Assorted Nouns
80% GATANISMGoing Against The Attitude of Niceness and Innovation Surrounding Macintosh Angela Brett
100% GATANISM (2)Gleaning Apple's Trade, And Nerdishly Idolising Satanic Master Angela Brett
89% GATANISM (3)Group of Antimac Terrorists, Adore Non-Intuitive Software Maker. Angela Brett
89% GATESIANGenerally A Terrible Example of Science Inexpertly Applied, N'estpas? Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% GPFGreatly Pooched Files Sean Lamb, referring to the results of a General Protection Fault.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% INDIGOIt Never Did Integrate Global Objects Sean Lamb (Indigo is Microsoft's code name for the .NET communication technologies)
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
100% KORGOKeyboard Output Recorder Generates Opening Sean Lamb (Korgo is the name of a new worm that exploits a hole in Windows security and installs a keylogger, sending the keystrokes to a remote, malicious computer)
100% LONGHORNLate Or Not, Gates Holds Out. Releases Nothing Sean Lamb (the next version of Microsoft Windows, codenamed Longhorn, has now been delayed until 2006).
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
100% LONGHORN (2)Long Overdue... Nobody's Getting Horny Over Releasing Nothing Angela Brett, who thinks that LONGHORN is a misnomer.
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
100% MCPMastered Crappy Programs Angela Brett (MCP usually stands for Microsoft Certified Professional)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Education:Qualifications
75% MCTManaging to Charge Thousands Sean Lamb (MCT really stands for Microsoft Certified Trainer)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Education:Qualifications
100% MCT (2)Must Continue Training Sean Lamb (MCT really stands for Microsoft Certified Trainer)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Education:Qualifications
100% MEMPHISMaybe Every Microsoft Programmer Hates Information Services Sean Lamb (Memphis was the code name Microsoft used for Windows 98)
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
90% MICROSOFTMegalomania Incorporated - Criminally Responsible Organisation Successfully Overseeing Felons and Thieves Tony McCoy O'Grady
90% MICROSOFT (2)Machine Is Crap, Recycling is Only Solution, Ohh F*ck This! Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% MICROSOFT (3)Mainly Into Customer Rip-Off... Software Often Faulty Too. Angela Brett
100% MICROSOFT (4)Major In Creating Ridiculously Over-Sized Offal. Finance Topmost. Angela Brett
100% MICROSOFT (5)Motto Is, 'Create Revenue!' Operating System Often Fails Terribly Angela Brett
100% MICROSOFT (6)Money Is Chief Resource... Our Software's Only For Trading. Angela Brett
100% MICROSOFT (7)Macintosh Is Continually Rising Over Such Old-Fashioned Thinking Angela Brett
100% MICROSOFT (8)Media Imbeciles Continually Rabbit On, Sold On Failed Technology. Steve Keate
100% MICROSOFT (9)Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers Henk
100% MICROSOFT (10)Managers In Companies Rile Office Staff, Obstinately Forcing Technology. Angela Brett - I've heard many stories of managers who've blindly bought Microsoft products despite all the people who'd actually be using them recommending other software.
82% MICROSOFT (11)Maybe It's Created from Refuse Out of Some Old Fogey's Truck Acronymous Anonymous
100% MICROSOFT SOFTWAREMany Imminent Crashes... Recommend Often Saving One's Files To Safeguard Oneself From Time Wasting And Repeated Entry. Angela Brett
100% MONOPOLISTMicrosoft Owns Ninety-Odd Percent Of Labels In Software Trade. Angela Brett, who hopes that figure isn't true.
100% NTFSNot Trustworthy, Format Soon! Kuroneko, discussing the correct expansion of NTFS, which usually stands for New Technology File System.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% NTFS (2)Never The File Saved Chaironeko, discussing the correct expansion of NTFS, which usually stands for New Technology File System.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PCPlastic Crap Tony McCoy O'Grady
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PC (2)Pathetic Creation Tony McCoy O'Grady
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PC (3)Passable Calculators Tony McCoy O'Grady
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PC (4)Poor Compromises Tony McCoy O'Grady
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PC (5)Piss Can Dustan Dowsing
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PC (6)Please Crush! Steve Keate
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PC (7)Persistently Crashes Angela Brett
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
67% PC (8)Piece of Crap Gavin Shapiro
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% PCS FOR EVERPathetic Computers Sometimes Fail Over Rotten Entrails, Viruses Enter Readily Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% PC USERPerfect Consumer - Uses Some Expensive Rubbish Steve Keate
100% PUTERPathetic Useless Tangled Electronic Rubbish! Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% RAPIERRedmond Application Platform Is Engineered Roughly Sean Lamb (Rapier is Microsoft's code name for Windows CE 3.0 for Pocket PC version 2)
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
100% RUGRATRuffians Use Gadgets, Release A Trojan Sean Lamb (Rugrat is the name of the first 64-bit Windows virus discovered 5/27/04)
100% RUGRAT (2)Reprobate User Group Readily Attacks Technology Sean Lamb (Rugrat is the name of the first 64-bit Windows virus discovered 5/27/04)
100% RUGRAT (3)Releasing Untold Gnomes, Rascal Assaults Terminals Sean Lamb (Rugrat is the name of the first 64-bit Windows virus discovered 5/27/04)
100% TWITCHThere's Windoze In This Computer... Help! Angela Brett
100% USUAL WAY TO DO THINGSUnvaried Style Undoubtably Averts Laughter. Why Aren't You Trying Out Different Organisational Tactics? Have Innovative & New Goals, Steve! Angela Brett... referring, of course, not to Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, or Commissioner Steve, but the Steve whatsisname who is the CEO of Microsloth.
Assorted Phrases
100% VFATVerily, Files Are Truncated Sean Lamb (VFAT = Virtual File Allocation Table; the filesystem type that Windows 98 uses)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
80% WHECWill Hardware Ever be Compatible? Sean Lamb (WHEC = Windows Hardware Engineering Conference)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WHISTLER"Windows Has Inconsistencies" Said The Laboratory Engineer Relentlessly Sean Lamb (Whistler was the internal code name used by Microsoft for Windows XP)
Names:Code Names:Microsoft
100% WINDOWSWill I Never Discover Original, Wondrous Software? Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% WINDOWS (2)Work Is Near Disastrous, Oh Wretched System! Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% WINDOWS (3)World Is Not Dominated - Others Will Survive Angela Brett
100% WINDOWS (5)What Idiotic Nerd Developed Our Wierd System? Helen Livesey
100% WINDOWS (6)What If Now Dominant OS Won't Survive? Angela Brett
88% WINDOWS (7)Why Is Newzealander Deadset Ogre [to] Working System? Jeff Anonymous
100% WINDOWS (8)'Working', Indeed... Next Desire's Operating Well! Someday... Angela Brett, in response to WINDOWS (7)
100% WINDOWS (9)When It Never Draws One With Style! Angela Brett, because it's sort of odd that Windows should be called that when it's actually not very good at drawing windows (it visibly draws them bit by bit in no particular order)
100% WINDOWS (10)Will Install Needless Data On Whole System delt
78% WINDOWS (14)Why Isn't NT Doing Operations We Said [it should.] magicbrowser, because Windows never does what you ask it to do.
100% WINDOWS (15)Whistler's In No Danger Of Whistling Speed Angela Brett ('Whistler' is the code-name for Windows XP)
100% WINDOWS DEVELOPERWell, It's Not DOS; One Windowing System Demands Engineers, Very Easily Learnable, Only Problem: En Redmond! Gavin Lambert
People & Relationships:The Workforce:Occupations
100% WINDOWS NTWell, It Nearly Does One's Will (Suicide Note & Testament!) Angela Brett
90% WINDOWS TWO THOUSANDWhy Is No-one Demanding Other Windowing Systems That Would Offer The Helpful Option, Usefulness? Strangely, Almost No-one Does. Steve Keate
100% WINDOWS XPWhen It's Not Dawdling Or Wasting Space, Xpect Problems Angela Brett, who has to use Windows XP at work, so the criticism comes from experience.
100% WINDOWS XP (2)When It's Not Doing Over Whole System, Xpect Procrastination Angela Brett (see WINDOWS XP... if it's not one, it's the other!)
100% WINDOWS XP (3)Widget Inconsistencies Now Doubly Obvious, Windowing System Xtremely Poor Angela Brett (I've found there are at least four different styles of progress bars, six different styles of menus - even on the latest Microsoft software - four different styles of scrollbars and two of each kind of button. 'Windowing System Extremely Poor' refers to the fact that it draws parts of windows before other parts so that for a second or so while it finishes drawing a window there might be just an outline, or a button, or some random assortment of rectangles from the middle of a window visible. I presume this behaviour is supposed to show that some progress is being made in the drawing of a window, as an alternative to there being a wait before the window emerges fully formed. However, drawing the windows bit by bit only serves to emphasise how slowly it does things. This is on a 1.6GHz P4, in case any gatanists out there want to defend the lack of performance by suggesting the hardware is slow.)
100% WINFSWell, It's Not Fail Safe Sean Lamb (WinFS is yet another Microsoft acronym [a Micronym?] for WINdows Future Storage, which was originally planned to be included in the upcoming Longhorn release)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WIXWill It Xtinguish? Sean Lamb (WiX really means Windows Installer Xml; Microsoft's latest attempt to "embrace and extend" XML)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WMVWatch My Video WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WMV (2)Will Monopolize Videos WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WMV (3)Windows Mangles Videos WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% WMV (4)Worst Movie Viewer WMV usually stands for Windows Media Video
Re-expansions of existing acronyms